by |
08/02/2006 12:00 AM |

5 Best Tabloid Headlines of 2006’s First Half
The story: Wayne Gretzky’s wife implicated in major gambling scandal.
The Post:  BETZKY.

The story:
Joel Witrol is set to become the city’s first Hasidic police officer.
The Post:  NYPD JEW.

The story:
Dr. Nicholas Bartha sets off an explosion at his U.E.S. townhouse as a suicide attempt/final “fuck you” to his ex-wife.

The story:
Dick Cheney accidentally shoots hunting pal in the face.
The Daily News: DUCK! IT’S DICK!

The story:
U.S. bombs kill Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.
The Post: A picture of bloody, battered corpse’s face, with speech bubble: “WARM UP THE VIRGINS.”

5 Most Overhyped Blogosphere Stories of 2006’s First Half
Leroy/Frey Didn’t the revelations that JT Leroy was the concoction of greedy imaginations and James Frey a mildly sloppy burnout just underscore the always-known-to-be calculated nature of their appeal? Why the hand-wringing, then?
With all the kibbutzing re: Katie Couric’s leaving The Today Show for the anchor’s chair at the CBS Evening News, you’d think people still watched network news or something.
Star Jones Along those lines: have you ever met anyone who cared about Star Jones? No, you haven’t. Neither has anyone else. So why do you see a new picture of her every time you refresh Gawker?
Payola Six
The New York Post’s gossip section is run by unsavory individuals, by impure methods, for dubious ends? Well, yeah.
Celebuspawn In 2046,
the Spears-Federline kids will push welfare reform through Congress, Suri Cruise will win a Pulitzer, and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt will cure cancer. And they still won’t garner the hit counts they do now.

5 Worst  Alt-Weekly Covers of 2006 (so far)

The Voice
trumpets its cover of the Tribeca Film Festival and its Opening Night film, United 93: When headline puns go horribly, horribly wrong.

Although at least their coverage of the movie didn’t involve a seriously out-of-scale Nicholas Cage  (why Nicholas Cage?) surfing on an American Airlines jet with the towers in the background.

The One Guy In the Press Newsroom Had to Make the Cover With Photoshop Five Minutes Before the Issue Went to the Printers, Part Two.

The cover of the New York Press features a dude gnawing on garbage. Plato just went “whoa, that’s incredibly fitting.”

Apparently the Voice art department saw through Nick Sylvester’s fabricated cover story right the fuck away. Why else would they have saddled it with this monstrosity?