Crap Water: “It’s Our Fountain of Youth”

08/11/2008 3:00 PM |

Old people love shit water, apparently. The feces/pollution levels at Douglas Manor in Douglaston, Queens, are way above what’s considered healthy–the water is an opaque brown–but the old people who live there refuse to stop swimming. The people living nearby call the gross, dogged elderly swimmers the “Floating Heads”:

With the help of canes and walkers, they proceed gingerly out on the
pier and lower themselves into water so murky and brown that only their
heads can be seen floating around the swimming area; thus, their name.

Oh well. You can lead a horse away from the water, but you can’t make him stay away. These people are old enough that they’re probably doing fine, and if they can swim they’re probably doing better than all the old people who avoid shit water, but don’t exercise at all. Plus, as the article’s Mrs. Kellerman says, “I don’t swim way down deep, and I don’t swallow the water." Words to live by.

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