It doesn’t get much freakier than this.
The Daily Mirror has broken the news that the Stacked One has a
new consort. Because the most logical thing to do when you’re rebounding from a pointless marriage with Kid Rock is to start dating the King of Pop.
“The odd couple seem to have bonded over their love of plastic surgery and have been hooking up in Malibu.
We hear the big-boobed babe is a massive fan of Michael… and it seems the feeling is mutual.”
Will she have to wear a face mask if they get married? Will he stop
with the face melting, or will she simply try to catch up to all the
work he’s gotten so far? And how will they reconcile their differences
on the beauty of tanning versus the unshakable urge to flee from the light
at every possible opportunity?
I fear for their unborn child.