Connie Meester gave birth to a girl who would grow up to wear headbands with a bewitching air of self-congratulatory pride and star of a beloved show about wealthy teenage histrionics. And now, the elder Ms. Meester wants to talk about it by preparing her memoirs for release. The tome will cover her own troubled, drug-addled past, her stint in a Texas prison (she was allowed to take a break from the clink in order to give birth to Leighton), and her efforts to turn her life around just in time for season two: Chuck Bass, this could be you!
Since Meester is still searching for a publisher, may I be so bold as to suggest Thomas Nelson, printer of inspirational books and Bibles? They’re set to fling Lynn Spears’s potential cash-cow memoir, Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World into the public’s eager hands this month. (Jamie Lynn ought to have waited to send that redonkulous fake care package to Bristol Palin so she could have tucked in a copy in between the onesie.) Perhaps Thomas Nelson can devote an entire sector of their press to mommy-memoirs that further exploit the lives and fame-levels of their daughters. Who needs earth-shattering works of short fiction when you can soar to the apex of the Times best-seller list and dance on a pile of money from your insane auction-won advance?