Go Pee Yourself

by |
09/11/2008 6:15 PM |

Just when you thought there wasn’t anything left in our culture to review! There it is, a shining beacon of light on the shelf of that CVS aisle you’re embarrassed to be standing in. Writer Justin Peters personally tested out several brands of adult diapers for Slate‘s Geezer issue, and realized some things about himself:

Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them
wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough
urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant
experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no
more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of
my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the
test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at
me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger
diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can
rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn’t
immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds,
tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there
must be easier ways to make a living.

The fact that he had to use his real name in this byline just about breaks my heart. I can only imagine his decision-making process: “It will be funny, I want credit!” followed by “I will never live this down, ever, ever, ever.” So it goes.