Let’s Parse: The Sarah Palin Chronicles

by |
09/15/2008 9:30 AM |

Is it November yet? There were some hilarious tidbits in the charming screed about Sar-Pal (can we call her that? yes, we can!) that ran in this Sunday’s Times. Ready, set, parse!:

And four months ago, a Wasilla blogger, Sherry Whitstine, who
chronicles the governor’s career with an astringent eye, answered her
phone to hear an assistant to the governor on the line, she said.

"You should be ashamed!" Ivy Frye, the assistant, told her. "Stop blogging. Stop blogging right now!"

She thinks bloggers should be ashamed! And should just quit it. Quit blogging! Quit blogging about her! No more bullying! Cease and desist, immediately, kthx.

Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell said Ms. Palin had conducted an accessible and
effective administration in the public’s interest. "Everything she does
is for the ordinary working people of Alaska," he said.

Wasilla, a builder said he complained to Mayor Palin when the city
attorney put a stop-work order on his housing project. She responded,
he said, by engineering the attorney’s firing.

She’s the Donald Trump of politics. Yer fired! Bye!

Last summer State Representative John Harris, the Republican speaker of
the House, picked up his phone and heard Mr. Palin’s voice. The
governor’s husband sounded edgy. He said he was unhappy that Mr. Harris
had hired John Bitney as his chief of staff, the speaker recalled. Mr.
Bitney was a high school classmate of the Palins and had worked for Ms.
Palin. But she fired Mr. Bitney after learning that he had fallen in
love with another longtime friend.

OMFG, that MotherChucker! Oh, wait. This isn’t a summary of last week’s Gossip Girl. It’s just how they do it in Wasilla. XOXO!

And, her supporters say, she cleaned out the municipal closet, firing
veteran officials to make way for her own team. "She had an agenda for
change and for doing things differently," said Judy Patrick, a City
Council member at the time.

Hurrah. An “agenda for change.” Doing things “differently.”

Ms. Palin ordered city employees not to talk to the press. And she used
city money to buy a white Suburban for the mayor’s use — employees
sarcastically called it the mayor-mobile.

Pope-mobile envy isn’t pretty.

And she began to eye the library. For years, social conservatives had
pressed the library director to remove books they considered immoral.

"People would bring books back censored," recalled former Mayor John
Stein, Ms. Palin’s predecessor. "Pages would get marked up or torn out."

. Oh, maybe she did! If she hurt any of the Lois Lowry or Judy Blume books, I will cry. NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GIVER.

"Sarah said she didn’t need to read that stuff," Ms. Chase said. "It
was disturbing that someone would be willing to remove a book from the
library and she didn’t even read it."

"I’m still proud of Sarah," she added, "but she scares the bejeebers out of me."

Live the American Dream, you Machiavellian Princess, you.

In the middle of the primary, a conservative columnist in the state,
Paul Jenkins, unearthed e-mail messages showing that Ms. Palin had
conducted campaign business from the mayor’s office. Ms. Palin handled
the crisis with a street fighter’s guile.

Do what you gotta do to get to the next level, yo: shiv!

"She was fresh, and she was tomorrow," said Michael Carey, a former
editorial page editor for The Anchorage Daily News. "She just floated
along like Mary Poppins."

She is fucking Julie Andrews, jolly and dancing in a park with Dick Van Dyke, delighted with her firings! Oh, and there are lots of happy, well-adjusted children.

The Wasilla High School yearbook archive now doubles as a veritable directory of state government.

But only if you signed something more original than “Have a bitchin’ summer, Sarah!”

On Feb. 7, Frank Bailey, a high-level aide, wrote to Ms. Palin’s
state e-mail address to discuss appointments. Another aide fired back:
"Frank, this is not the governor’s personal account."

Mr. Bailey responded: "Whoops~!"

Ahahah did u totes save that on gChat convo about the pipline ’cause I didn’t! Oops lolz to the maxx. Send it to my Bberry!

Another confidante of Ms. Palin’s is Ms. Frye, 27. She worked as a
receptionist for State Senator Lyda Green before she joined Ms. Palin’s
campaign for governor. Now Ms. Frye earns $68,664 as a special
assistant to the governor. Her frequent interactions with Ms. Palin’s
children have prompted some lawmakers to refer to her as "the
babysitter," a title that Ms. Frye disavows.

Like Mr. Bailey, she is an effusive cheerleader for her boss.

"YOU ARE SO AWESOME!" Ms. Frye typed in an e-mail message to Ms. Palin in March.

Words. Fail.

During the last legislative session, some lawmakers became so
frustrated with her absences that they took to wearing "Where’s Sarah?"

Sillies! They should have bought one of these.

The administration’s e-mail correspondence reveals a siege-like
atmosphere. Top aides keep score, demean enemies and gloat over
successes. Even some who helped engineer her rise have felt her wrath.

Fagan, a prominent conservative radio host and longtime friend of Ms.
Palin, urged his listeners to vote for her in 2006. But when he took
her to task for raising taxes on oil companies, he said, he found
himself branded a "hater."

Well, that was exhausting. Drink the Kool-Aid or go home, grasshoppers.

5 Comment

  • she is the devil. she-devil palin.

  • “Ms. Palin appointed Mr. Bitney, her former junior high school band-mate, as her legislative director and chose another classmate, Joe Austerman, to manage the economic development office for $82,908 a year. Mr. Austerman had established an Alaska franchise for Mailboxes Etc.”

  • Did you used to be able to play an instrument? Do you like mailing things? Then come work for Sarah Palin!

  • Still blogging- Sarah won’t do the right thing and RESIGN as governor. Is anyone else sick of her ignorance? Another ethics complaint against her has been filed.

  • Still blogging- Sarah won’t do the right thing and RESIGN as governor. Is anyone else sick of her ignorance? Another ethics complaint against her has been filed.