The No Pants/Oxford Cold War Rages On

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09/18/2008 7:30 PM |

I have the sinister chorus to that awful Paula Cole song “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?” repeating in my head, except the words are changed to “Where Have All The Pants Gone?” Ooooooohhh!

Okay: I have a long-standing girl-crush on Zooey Deschanel. I love her style, her films, her hilarious guest-star-stint on Weeds, her slightly grown-out bangs and her baby-blues, and I very much adore She & Him, her winsome collaboration with singer-songwriter pal M. Ward. So perhaps you can imagine how pleased I was when I saw she was selected the cover girl of the latest issue of NYLON. She looks amazing in every shot. Except one, in which she still projects the “I am gorgeous and pretty and quirky and retro-cool” vibe, but, well, something is missing! To the right, said image. Let’s break it down: A feather fascinator in her hair. An Oxford shirt hitting at the waist. Opaque black tights. And… yup. That about covers it.

Sigh.

Zooey’s slightly perturbed frowny-face makes me wonder whether she was given a choice in the matter. Did she attempt to veto the stylist, or was this — could it BE?! — her own suggestion? I don’t know the answer to this question, but I’m extermely anxious and fearful about what it might all mean.

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