Someone Else Made This So That You Don’t Have To provides me with the excuse to troll the bowels of DIY marketplace Etsy.com for amazing thingz fashioned out of dust by by whimsical fairy queens! Credit crisis, say whaaat?
Mr. Business Bunny by shulamite may be the perfect souvenior to this glorious fall of Bailouts and Rescues and Bank Shopping Sprees. Observe his poly-filled body, stark naked save for his nondescript tie. Take in that pair crazy, sad googly eyes. Note the lopsided, buck-toothed grin, which seems to say “O HAI, I just came face to face with the anti-Christ, or was it Alan Greenspan?!” Well you could knock me over with a feather, because this lil’ guy looks kind of exactly like a real stockbroker after a nice, relaxing day on the floor!
A couple of things to note prior before purchasing: The copy of the Financial Times (seriously) he’s jauntily holding under his left arm is, in fact, removable, so you can use it to beat yourself senseless over the head in hopes you’ll go into a coma and wake up after Barack Obama attempts to put a Flinstones Band-Aid on the world. However! The satin pocket hankie is sewn in. This means no “borrowing” it when you go drown an entire box of tissues with your cruel, Panic of 2008-generated tears. Finally, we’re told that Mr. Business Bunny is “not suitable as a toy for small children.” So if not purchased as a gift to yourself (you deserve it!), why not donate him to the fully-grown, lonely trader in your life, like maybe this guy?
Ah yes. I’ll close with creator shulamite’s own terrific endorsement: “Buy carrots!!! Sell lettuce!!! Shares in luxury hutch condos are down on the Bunny Index!!! XD” Only in dreams.