Ok, so before he dropped out after Iowa I was actually leaning towards voting for Biden in the New York primary — since Reagan, or even Carter, we’ve gotten to a point where it seems like many Americans don’t want to vote for President who seems maybe possibly smarter than them. This is stupid, and would be so even if “smarter than the average American” were not such a low bar. Well, Biden is smarter than you, and he is not embarrassed to act like it. Or, possibly, he is incapable of not acting like it. So, in honor of his subdued, tongue-holding outclassing of/scatterbrained gaffe-filled underestimation of America’s Idiot Overinvolved PTA Parent Princess in tonight’s Vice Presidential debate, here are several pictures of his bald spot, I am suddenly hungry for eggs.
Oh, it’s beautiful, beautiful.
But it was not always so beautiful. Here, Senator Biden scares a small child with his combover:
This is really a still from a video of Biden taken in the late 80s, and not Elliot Spitzer at his “oops I like to fuck whores” press conference, though it is easy to see how one could make such a mistake:
New York recently put together this helpful through-the-years photo mini-essay. As you can see, the Senator from Delaware seems (is widely rumored) to have invested in hair plugs during the 1980s (because he did). After ugly carpety beginnings, they have turned a magnificent shade of Statesman Silver. But not in the back, because there is no hair there, because he is bald:
Here is a picture of a long-serving, respected representative of the people, with a luxuriant mane, bushy like the eyebrows of Sam the Eagle, brushed back from his wise, Senatorial forehead:
And here he is again, under harsher, less forgiving lighting. You could build up a homestead and raise a brood of seven or eight frontier children, through the droughts and the winters and the Apache raids and the typhoid that took little Malcom, in the space between the individual strands of hair growing from the front of Joe Biden’s head:
Aw, Joe. You are so, so magnificently bald, you magnificent bald person: