One day, I believe, Suri Cruise, the Jolie-Pitt wunderkind clan, Bronx Mowgli Simpson-Wentz, Apple Martin, Kingston Rosdale, et. al., will comprise a not-so-secret support group for the spawn of celebrity who crept through childhood during aught-years. It will be like Skull & Bones, except instead of controlling the world and doing coke together, they’ll do coke together and share battered scrapbooks of articles written about them when they were innocent, baby-faced younguns prancing in front of cameras without any sense of how their parents’ exposure might contribute to their future (un)happiness.
You know, like this one, from the Daily Mail, which quotes all sorts of nuggets Tom Cruise gave away to Australian magazine Grazia:
‘As a parent you protect your children but Suri is a very open and
warm child and she will just wave to people on the street. She is such
happy, fun girl.’
‘It is certainly different these days with the
media, but people have been very good to us and do give us space so I
am not going to be difficult.’
Why Tom is suddenly being so easy-breezy freebie with letting the aggressive snappers at his helpless, ridiculously cute daughter? Could it be because he’s trying to not-so-covertly use his newfound “family man” image re-brand himself as a laid back Pops? The chillaxin’ Daddio in the aviators, who doesn’t make his wife crouch down in wedding pictures so she’ll appear shorter than him? A kind supastar who loves his kid but doesn’t might her posing and helping to sell magazines and click-through slideshows when the opportunity presents itself? Instead of, um, the tight-lipped aging hearthrob who called Matt Lauer “glib,” practically strangled a faux-reporter for squirting him with a water gun, jumped around on a yellow couch, and made this video for his Church.
Sarah Palin should take notes.