Angelina Jolie’s Journalistic Mind Control

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11/21/2008 1:30 PM |

Here’s a piece of “gotcha” media journalism for your Friday afternoon perusal: Angelina Jolie, former blood-vial carrier and brother-kisser — never forget! — has spent the last few years transforming herself into Hollywood’s Mother Theresa. Also, she stole Brad Pitt from jilted Jen, which was “really uncool” and “inappropriate.”

But now, reports have been unearthed by a Times reporter who wants to make sure we all care about celebrity gossip just as much as the S & P. On today’s front page, there’s a story about Angelina Jolie’s Carefully Orchestrated Image, which covers her famous, “scary smart” (according to Bonnie Fuller!) ability to control the gossip rags. They agree to give her money for photographs and not to say anything mean about her, and her face sells gazillions of magazines for them. Everybody wins! (Except Jen.) Now that’s how you build a brand!

Did you know that Angie doesn’t have a publicist? Just a lawyer? And a cell-phone? And her own scary-smarts? Coupled with her impending sainthood, this makes her a goddess among men, or whatever.

Anyway, Jen and John are totally back together.

Anyway, the credit markets have seized up!

We no longer have any perspective about these matters.