Botox is an S.U.V. Equivalent Unless You’re Unemployed, When It Becomes a Metrocard

by |
12/18/2008 6:00 PM |

Hey look, it’s yet another nonsensical Skin Deep piece in the Times‘ Style section that has a Recessionista peg. How many ways can one person write this thing?

This week Natasha Singer turns her analytical mirror compact onto the recession’s effect on the plastic surgery business. Yes, yes, while some people worry about their foreclosed homes, others wonder whether they will be able to afford their butt implants. Singer begins with a series of very serious questions: “But now, as the country plunges into recession, will financial hardship demote the pursuit of physical perfection? Will
the vogue for a smoothed face in which only the mouth moves, or a
mix-and-match body of mature breasts atop boyish hips become outmoded?
Will aesthetic values loosen up, allowing the occasional wrinkle to
take on a certain measure of authenticity?”

OMG, the Dow crashed and the Botox backlash has arrived! Excuse us while we hurl into our pockets.

The experts tell Singer that cosmetic surgery is “going to become the new S.U.V., something that you can do without,” and that people who formerly made cosmetic surgery a necessity will give it up so as not to feel, er, overly extravagant compared to their friends. That’s a good kind of peer pressure! Oh, except for this shit:

Against a tide of people eschewing cosmetic medicine in the new economy, she also predicted a counter current of consumers having procedures to feel proactive."People
who would not have considered it, when they get laid off at 45, 50, 55
and are back on the job market, might consider it as they try to
enhance their human capital," she said.

Please, no. Just use scented résumé paper a la Elle Woods instead — it will render the same, exorbitant, useless effect on your “human capital” without freezing your face and eating your non-existent 401K.

Putting Vanity On Hold” [NYT]