Memo to Hollywood: SADAD

by |
12/12/2008 2:47 PM |

I just received, via the electronic mail, an invite for critics’ screenings of the forthcoming puppy porn film Marley & Me. I commend the studio that is releasing this movie for actually screening the film in time for weeklies to review it; with movies such as this that’s not something I can take for granted and I appreciate Fox’s understanding that we are genuinely interested in having a discussion about their product.

HOWEVER. Upon scrolling down the screening invite I came upon this tidbit, perhaps news only to me, but still:

MARLEY & ME opens only in theaters nationwide on December 25th, is rated PG and runs approximately 125 minutes.

125 minutes. 125 minutes. 125 minutes. Jesus H. Christ and Howard W. Hawks, how do you not bring in Marley & Me in under two hours? The editor, screenwriters and director of this movie should be forced to eat individual celluloid frames of the original negative until they get this down under an hour forty.