Swine Flu Mexican Flu, Pork Rinds Puffed Fatnuts

04/29/2009 11:44 AM |

Israeli Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman, an ultra-orthodox Jew, recently suggested changing the name of Swine Flu to Mexican Flu, to avoid offending the sensibilities of religious Israelis. This suggestion has not been taken to heart. But to help Mr. Litzman with his anti-pork rebranding campaign, we came up with the following suggestions:

Bacon: British Salt Chews
Pork rinds: Puffed Fatnuts
Porky Pig: Pablo the Curly Clown
The Arkansas Razorbacks: The Arkansas Chasers
Silk from a sow’s ear: Silk from an unattractive farm animal’s ear
Porkbarrel spending: Louisiana spending
Hog (for a Harley): Grumbler
Porky’s (the film): Fatty’s Downhome Ladyshack
Hamfisted: Greaseknuckled
Ham (for an actor): Cheeseslice
Hamburger: Cowgrinder
Higgledy-piggledy: Schmiggledy-biggledy
The Three Little Pigs: The Three Little Symbolic Characters
Pig: Pink Dog
Richard Hamilton: Dick Smith
To pig out: To schnarf down
Hogtown (Toronto’s sobriquet): Boringsville

You’re welcome.

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