Swine Flu Pandemonium

04/27/2009 10:19 AM |

On the F train this morning, I was sitting on the aisle seat of the two-seat row, perpendicular to a three-seater. In the three-seater, there were two women sitting directly next to one another, despite there being an empty spot. One of them, seated against the railing, sneezed a quiet, well-mannered sneeze—no great build up or fallout, hand dutifully to her mouth. The woman beside her immediately let out an audible “UUUGGHHHH,” and lifted the neck of her shirt to cover her mouth, at which point the sneezer totally lost her shit, screaming “I have allergies! Just because I sneeze, doesn’t mean I have swine flu!” Then she told her she was the rudest person she’d ever met, though they had not technically met, unless I missed a much kinder interaction between them earlier, which actually would have made the whole thing far more awesome.

Anyone else see any crazy swine flu-related behavior on you commute this morning? Please share.

4 Comment

  • Normally when we get to work everybody shakes hands hello, but today our boss announced no more hand shaking until further notice. “What the fuck are you doing trying to shake my hand?” that’s how we talk…

    Btw- new website is pretty awesome!

  • i saw a pig walking on its hind feet, about 20 yards behind me. every time i would stop, he would stop. i think he’s still following me.

  • I know a brother who is sending his wife and child 200 miles into the Warm Temperate zone to escape the flu

  • I definitely scowled at the back of a sneezers head on the F train as she sniffled repeatedly. I also proceeded to move to the other side of the train WHERE THERE WAS ANOTHER SNIFFLER. What the hell is wrong with you people. STAY HOME WITH YOUR SNIFFLES!!!!!