One Band’s Crusade Against Poetry and Good Taste

05/04/2009 12:14 PM |

When I got to my desk this morning, after missing three straight days of work last week, I found 1,835 emails waiting for me. Half of them were junk, a quarter of them were from Jonny Diamond asking when the next blog post would be going up, and a quarter were from publicists. Of the last group, one (and only one) caught my attention. I won’t go so far as to divulge the name of the publicist or of the artist being publicized, but I will share my favorite part of the press release, not at all edited for clarity or usage.

Where’s that good ol’ Rock n’ Roll? How many times do we have to go see AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Stones? Yeah, these guys are still great but we’ve seen it all too many times. It’s been almost 20 years — the last I checked — since we had an old-fashioned, in your face, hard rock n’ roll band. I’m referring to Guns n’ Roses in case you’re wandering. Do you miss that good old distinct sound?

Wait no more. Enter hard rock band, [redacted]. “Finally!” That’s the one word every fan of the band keeps saying when they catch an earful of their music. With the edge of AC/DC and the roots of Lynyrd Skynyrd, [redacted] is the first rock n’ roll band with a lot of groove and a ton of attitude!

No sob stories or poetry here — just real life events told by the boisterous front man [redacted], and his life growing up surrounded by hillbilly gangsters. His outlook towards the world is probably even too much for all the teenage angst that’s out there listening to bad music just to get their rebellious fix.

There is really no faster way to my heart and into the pages of The L Magazine than longing for the glory days of racist/homophobic icons Lynyrd Skynyrd and Guns n’ Roses. Other than making fun of poetry, of course. And maybe saying “wandering” when you mean “wondering.” Or implying that “angst” is a group of people and not an emotion.