A 14-year-old kid from Oregon named Austin Melton was struck by lightning after leaving a basketball game last Wednesday. He suffered some burns but is expected to recover fully. More importantly, he is the coolest kid ever, as evidenced by this video from the Today Show this morning. He is definitely high on pain meds, and he really, really wants people to call him Sparky. So for fuck’s sake, people of La Pine Middle School, please just call the kid Sparky.