Madoff Sentenced to 1.5 Centuries in Prison

06/29/2009 1:38 PM |

8d5e/1246296632-bernie.jpgLooks like Kevin Bacon, Jeff Wilpon and tons of other scorned celebrities/gaziillionaires will have to wait 150 years for their next chance to punch Bernie Madoff in the balls. Bummer for those dudes, I guess.

On the day the sentencing came down, his wife of fifty years, Ruth Madoff, issued this statement:

“All those touched by this fraud feel betrayed, disbelieving the nightmare they woke to. I am embarrassed and ashamed. Like everyone else, I feel betrayed and confused. The man who committed this horrible fraud is not the man whom I have known for all these years.”

Er, actually, Ruth? The man who committed this horrible fraud is absolutely the man you’ve known for all these years. Turns out he was just a dick and you didn’t realize it.