On the Total Irrelevance of Two Telegenic Morons

06/09/2009 12:43 PM |

f4d1/1244562866-sarah-palin-miss-wasilla-1984.jpg Oh what a pair they make, Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin, two of America’s brightest hopes for a quicker End Times. From the opening introduction, during which she seal claps her enthusiasm at being here in New York on Sean’s stomping grounds, this Fox “web exclusive” (unembeddable, thanks assholes) is a magical dream from a special land of ersatz conservative make-believe. Go beyond the jump for moronic ass-hatterisms aplenty.

Palin: “They [the people who mocked William Seward for buying Alaska from Russia] didn’t understand its proximity to other nations.” Like Canada?

Hannity, mumming envy: “We here in New York pay 10% income tax, but you in Alaska give every citizen a check!” Palin: “Yeah, we’re the only state in the union with a negative tax rate. A share of our oil resources go back to the people, who own the resource.” So, basically, it’s a communist welfare state, built on petrodollars, like the USSR or Saudi Arabia. Way to go, staunch conservatives.

Palin: “I dug into the stimulus and saw the fat strings attached… to the buckets of money.” Indeed.

Palin: “We’re all for energy conservation.” Even though the profligate consumption of energy goes directly into the wallets of our citizens.

Palin: “The government is borrowing money to spend money… it defies any sensible economic policy that any of us ever learned in college.” After attending four different colleges, Palin ended up with a degree in communications journalism. Hannity dropped out of two colleges. So, yeah.

Palin: “Considering we own GM… err, the US government owns GM.” So, when it’s oil, the people of Alaska own it, when it’s cars, the government owns it. Or something.

Palin: “Our country could evolve into something so far from what the Founders of our country believed in…” Hannity: “Socialism?” Palin: “That is where we are headed!” Oh no! Just like the communist welfare state of Alaska! Or the terrifyingly godless and successful state of Norway!

Palin: “It’s important that those out there who are concerned about the growth of government know that they’re not alone, that there are others who are empathizing with them.” Empathy! Not just for wise Latina judges!

Palin: “Toddddd!!!?” In reference to the Obama’s date night in New York.

One Comment

  • So glad you link to that article about Norway. Mmm, petrodollar-fueled socialism and lots of cross-country skiing. Also, not Alaska (or the USSR, or certain indoor facilities in the UAE where they make their own snow).