Baseball Is Skinny Again; Can Mustaches Be Far Behind?

by |
07/14/2009 1:31 PM |

b833/1247592647-goose-gossage.jpgWith some kind of PED testing finally in place, and great young pitchers — like tonight’s NL starting picture, sk8tr boi and freak of nature Tim Lincecum — on the way up, tonight’s All-Star Game seems perhaps somehow weirdly, happily retro.

Twenty-five years ago this month, when Tim Lincecum and I were both about exactly a month old (I am three days older than Tim Lincecum. Have I ever mentioned this? It feels really weird), the 1984 All-Star game was held at Candlestick Park, and Sports Illustrated has a slideshow of photos from the game. 1984 suddenly seems an awfully long time ago, and either a really momentous year or else merely a really nostalgic one for me, you, everyone.

Holy crap, look at all those uniforms I remember from Topps cards. And skinny ballplayers like Tim Wallach and Sweet Lou Whitaker, among other future RBI Baseball icons. And the mustaches, my god, the mustaches. The one thing keeping baseball from being really truly great again is the facial hair. Enough with these suburban sprawl grillmaster goatees; let’s get some honest-to-goodness mustaches back in the game. Goose Gossage tips his cap in thanks.