Huckabee to Palin: You Can’t Quit Me

07/15/2009 1:46 PM |

2541/1247678914-mike-huckabee-new-hampshire.jpg Mike Huckabee, in an interview with Fox News, said the following, when asked about Sarah Palin’s viability as a candidate for the 2012 Republican Party presidential nomination:

“Whether she runs or not, she has an important voice, and I hope she remains — let me be real clear — a part of the Republican Party. I’m a little concerned when I hear her say that she may sort of branch out and go third party or go independent. That would be a big mistake because we need to rebuild the Republican Party, not abandon it.”

I would translate that statement as the following:

“Look, people thought I was a populist downhome freak from a jerkwater state, and it took me a long time to get past that. With someone like The Ice Queen of NASCAR to run against, I will look like Benjamin Disraeli by contrast. And then I will become President and my fat children will stand a chance of actually marrying human females. Dear Jesus, I know we just spoke a few minutes ago, but please keep She Who Shall Not Be Named a part of the Republican Party.”

I’ll be back to translate Huckabee’s entire 2012 campaign, btw.

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