In one of those marvelous instances of a news item being shorter than the list of puns, jokes and stupid headlines that could accompany it, a man on a Southwest Airlines flight landing in Phoenix was stung by a poisonous Arizona bark scorpion that fell on him from the overhead luggage compartment. His ten year-old son then displayed Samuel Jackson-sized balls, opening the overhead compartment to discover five baby scorpions, at which point everyone on the plane freaked out. They indulged that time-honored tradition reserved for moments when creepy critters materialize in places we don’t want then: climbing onto seats and screaming. The man who was stung, Doug Herbstommer, promptly squished mama scorpion, and the babies were killed after the passengers left the plane, which was in turn fumigated, just to be sure. Aside from the obvious “Scorpions on a Plane” (for which, nicely done Consumerist), what pun-tastic headlines could accompany this story?