Marilyn Manson Has Swine Flu

09/23/2009 3:46 PM |

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Word spread this afternoon that Marilyn Manson has come down with a case of swine flu. No one cares about Marilyn Manson, of course—about his music or his well-being—but can you really expect any of us to pass on the opportunity to rock “Marilyn Manson Has Swine Flu” as a headline? No, you can’t. Especially not when he delivers the news like this, on his fucking MySpace blog:

“So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU. I know everyone will suggest that fucking a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have, in ‘no way’ contributed to… me acquiring this mysterious sickness. Unfortunately, I am going to survive.”

I was just going to make a joke about that last part, but I guess if my line of work demanded that I keep up a depressed high school kid schtick even though I’m in my 40s, I’d probably want to die too.

4 Comment

  • I heard the Sanjay Gupta got it too. I’m glad that he’s well BUT HAPPY THAT HE GOT IT.

    NOW YOU MAY HAVE IT TOO..

    http://concretelyambiguous.com/todays-trut…

  • Dude i don’t see why you have to say things like that about a human being. One that pays his taxes and leaves you alone. If you don’t like the man then don’t talk to him. But its not right that you say the things you do because you don’t like him but yet you say things like this on a site you know he is more then likely never going to get on. If you have the courage to say these things. Have the courage to say them to the man in person. This has nothing to do with the fact that i am i huge fan, its the fact that people don’t deserve to be treated this way. Your a coward to act this way. If more people would stand up like this then there would not be so many rumors swimming around the media about celebrities that you don’t even know personally. If you would like to continue this discussion my email is lsanders_13@yahoo.com

  • So are you a fan of Sanjay Gupta or Marilyn Manson? I would guess Sanjay Gupta since you seem to have a decent grasp of grammar and don’t spell like a 15 year old boy.

  • Marilyn Manson is very well spoken. Just watch his interview with that UNamerican bigot, Bill O’Reilly. And so far as Mike Conklin’s attempts to insult Marilyn Manson… my best guess would be that what he really meant was unfortunately for you and people who wish he were dead… he’s going to survive 🙂

    And honestly…. although many skew the message he portrays because they don’t understand the art of metaphor and analogous imagery (I’m guessing these are the same ones who still interpret the bible literally), Manson quite intelligently expresses opinions very relevant to everyone, whether a teen or a middle aged adult. I also think that, as an adult who is capable of seeing this world for what it is, we all have good reason to be depressed. At least Manson attempts to expose the hypocrisies and evils of what most accept as benign while everyone else stuffs their face, watches tv, and pretends as though those jeans they’re wearing weren’t made in a child labor sweat shop over in China where they put nets up just to keep their “employees” from jumping to their death, all endorsed by corporate greed.

    http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT…

    So yeah America! Keep on doing what you do. And yeah Mike Conklin! Keep on pointing that finger in all the wrong directions.