Them Crooked Vultures Played Austin City Limits. Sounds Like it Was Awful.

10/06/2009 9:41 AM |

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Austin City Limits happened this past weekend. You didn’t go, obviously, because no reasonable person travels to Austin at any time of year other than March, but you may have seen some pictures like I did. There was mud, lots of fratty-looking dudes, and a bunch of bands. Like Pearl Jam! And Dave Matthews! And, oh god, Them Crooked Vultures, featuring Josh Homme, Dave Grohl and John Paul Jones. Rolling Stone was on hand for their performance, and my suspicions have been confirmed: This is definitely the worst band. Like, of all the bands.

“We’d like to play Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ right now,” Homme announced early in the set, “but we’re not going to.” Instead, they played “Mind Eraser,” a hard-charging thunderclap of a song constructed from a squall of guitar. “Scumbag Blues” opened with a whine and then plummeted suddenly into a fit of grinding riffs, Homme adopting an eerie, unsettling falsetto.

The Vultures’ set didn’t end so much as unravel, petering out in a weird, wonky and slightly aimless jazz odyssey that found Jones working a single walking bassline while Homme noodled over top. That kind of heady jamming is clearly not their strong suit, but it conveys the group’s single guiding ethos: In this operation, we do what we want.

First, I don’t get the “Thriller” thing. Is it a joke? Homme is definitely the kind of guy who’s still making child molester jokes about Michael Jackson, so I suppose it probably was. Second, they have a song called “Mind Eraser.” Third, they have a song called “Scumbag Blues.” Fourth, falsetto. Fifth, aimless jazz odyssey. Sixth, look how fucking old that bassist is.

22 Comment

  • That old bassist??? Jesus dude…..either you’re 12 and haven’t heard of Led Zeppelin yet or you have no musical taste whatsoever. I’m sure there was a Nickleback concert somewhere you couldv’e covered, you wouldv’e been right at home there.

  • You must be a miserable stuck-up little prick. You’re writing a review of a show you didn’t attend? I suppose if you’ve heard of any of the members of the band they must be shit in your opinion? What a douche…

  • Here’s my review of your writing: droll, pretentious and uninformed. I agree w/jmoarch you seem like a miserable cynical prick. What’s funny to me is out of all the reviews of all the show TCV have played that I’ve read (and I’ve read a lot) yours is the only one that puts their shows in a negative light. AND YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE!

    Great reporting asshole…at least I read your review before reviewing it.

  • You obviously, have no taste in good music. And you obviously are Captain Dumb of 2009 when it comes to knowing the artist you’re reviewing. Try applying for toilet bowl cleaner at Burger King, I believe that would work out better for you.

  • Captain Dumb Fuck of 2009*

  • You’re an idiot. Asshole.

  • So… what, is this a review of other people’s reviews, or what? Other people who were actually there? You know, to review it?

  • Perhaps you should actually attend a show before you pan it instead of relying on pictures (!) and a second-hand account. This is lazy writing at its finest. I won’t even attempt to address your astounding lack of knowledge about the history of rock music. Good luck with your obviously advanced case of world-weariness. Sucks to be you.

  • Wow

    You have really brought stupidity to a new level. Review a show you haven’t been to based on photos and someone else’s review.

    Are you guys hiring?

  • If you are looking to grab attention, congratulations.

    I wasn’t sure who you were and so I checked Twitter. I hope that all 90 of your followers appreciate your prose. Let’s get him to 100 followers boys!

  • cool how the same person came up with all those different screen ids, like, THAT fast. wow. is it you, ancient bassist dude?

  • Links to this article are zooming around facebook. So mission accomplished!

  • He’s not a bassist– its like some sort of super future machine slide guitar I think. It’s a bass for people who’s joints are going. That said– I still can’t hate Grohl.

  • Some dude wrote an article. Sounds like it was awful.

  • Thanks. I wondered why people like Monica Danna (a rather well-known and egocentric publicist, for those of you not in Houston) are fans of that group. Now, I don’t wonder anymore.

    Let them have their crooked vultures; the rest of us can listen to *music*.

  • I couldn’t wait to conclude reading the article so I could leave a piece of my mind. However, seems like (almost) everyone already nailed it.

    If this is new “journalism.” Beware.

  • All of you sorry bastards have shit in your ears!!! Josh Hommo can’t sing or play a guitar. The only thing that queer knows how to do is butt fuck his audience. If you think that he is cool, then I bet you suck on his sperm too! You little fudgepacking, turdburgalar, spermburper!

  • I can’t believe this guy is allowed to publish this “review”! Where’s his editor?? They should both be shot, I mean fired. It’s embarrassing and irresponsible for the L Magazine to put this utter shit out into the world.

  • Its funny how RS actually said the gig was good. What sort of moronic journalism is this? Trying to make something sound bad when when A) the review is a positive one and B) YOU weren’t there!

    At least I know what the ‘L’ stands for: LAME

  • This hipster douche deserves all the shit that he’s getting for this “review.” Let’s go fire bomb his apartment. who else is in?

  • Hey give the kid a break. He had to hurry up and write the article before his mom called him out of the basement for cookie time. The fact that this article was permitted to publish is pretty amazing. Semms to me like the “L” stands for lazy since he hasn’t bothered to save up his allowance to get to a show. Saw them in Detroit and it was one of the tightest shows I’ve seen in years.