David Letterman has always been great at contrition. He’s a master of mixing self-deprecating humor with sombre confession in just such a way as to regain the moral high-ground almost immediately (even if his sincerity is somewhat doubtful); so if you haven’t seen his latest spiel (prompted by an attempted blackmail) you should watch after the jump. So what have we learned from this admission of heterosexual sex with women staffers? Paul, drum roll please…
10. Women?! He’s definitely not a Republican.
9. He watches way too much Mad Men.
8. Jimmy Fallon must be getting tons, whenever and from whomever he wants. (?uestlove too).
7. Two million dollars is an unreasonable blackmail demand, stick to one million or less.
6. A “towering mass of Lutheran, Midwestern guilt” is a great applause line.
5. Dave thinks sex is “creepy.”
4. He’s turning into Garrison Keillor.
3. Paul Shaffer needs his mic cut, still.
2. Novelty checks are always funny.
1. He has, in fact, had sex with women.