You May Soon See Some Married Catholic Priests

10/20/2009 2:55 PM |

Devil Pope

  • “Come to the Darkside”

Hey Anglicans: look, the Catholic Church knows you two have its differences. Your priests can get married. You’ve got different hymns. But surely these discrepancies are small potatoes compared to what’s been going on in your church lately. Gay bishops marrying each other? Lady priests? People being treated the same under Christ, rather than divided into an arbitrary hierarchy?

So look, if you want to, you know, say, convert to Catholicism—how close could a queer or a woman be to God, anyway?—it’s a lot easier now. Like, some of your married priests can still stay married. (Without the vagaries of the old “case-by-case” basis structure.) And you can even keep singing your favorite Anglican hymns.

So the Vatican announced today. The move should have little effect on American Anglicans, called Episcopalians, who have felt free to break away from the main church to construct their own conservative enclaves. But in England—where they still have Queens and Princes!—the Anglican Church has held together, although quarrelsomely: traditionalists deeply resent the liberal reforms of recent years.

New York Magazine recently profiled the incoming Archbishop for the NY diocese; in the comments, some lamented the Catholic Church’s traditionalist stances on issues like samesex marriage. One commenter responded, “I am always confused by people…who get angry with the Catholic Church for not changing its views on major issues of morality to better fit contemporary notions. It’s a 2000-year-old religion for goodness sake!…The church, for those believe in it, represents God’s will on Earth to the best of its understanding and ability.”

That makes sense. Well, except: why is God’s will flexible when it comes to stealing Anglicans away from their church? Because God loves more money and followers, as long as the cash doesn’t come from faithful fags?

One Comment

  • The word “catholic” means “universal” and within this Catholic church there are different rites…the Western Roman Rite…and many different Eastern Rites. Among the Eastern Rites, in union with the Holy Father in Rome, who continues the “first among equals” concept of the Apostolic Succession since St. Peter (who was a married man at the time of Jesus life)…there are married priests. Just as in the Orthodox Churches–also “Eastern” but not yet “in union.” Only the Roman Rite embraced celibacy for the Priesthood.

    The Anglicans were not “stolen away from” their churches. They freely chose to embrace the “Fullness of Truth” that is in the Holy Catholic Church. Forced membership would not be authentic membership. They are returning to the One True Fold with the Joy of a Bride embracing Her Bridegroom! “I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD, WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME, WILL HAVE THE LIGHT OF LIFE!” Jesus said, speaking of His Promise of Heaven for all eternity for those who follow Him, believe in Him. If you cleanse your mind of everything that dwells there, make it a “tabula raza”, and ask humbly to know THE TRUTH, go and read the Gospel of St. John, as if you had never heard of any of these things before…then read, ponder, think, wonder, and as has happened to me, you will be filled with great Joy and the gift of Faith. You must be sincere of mind and heart. Totally open. God Bless You!