The tricky thing about hating Adam Lambert is that you run the risk of having people think you hate him because he’s really, really, super gay, when in actuality you hate him because his songs are fucking terrible and his voice is fucking grating and because his entire post-Idol persona is predicated on this ridiculous and dangerous notion that the very idea of being gay is in itself shocking and rebellious.
It’s important distinction to make, I think, now that in the wake of his dreadful AMA performance from the other night, the kind people at Good Morning America have gone and cancelled his scheduled appearance on tomorrow’s show, claiming that they were “concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning.” What do they mean by similar? Well, gay. They were concerned about airing such a gay concert so early in the morning, because gay things are better reserved for the nighttime, after the kids have been put to bed.
That’s got to be what they mean, right? Because if they simply meant that they didn’t want to air sexually suggestive material of any kind, they wouldn’t have aired this video of Britney Spears wearing a bra while rubbing up against a dude, right? Or this one of the Pussycat Dolls dancing like strippers and requesting that a man undress them. Or this one of Shakira, where she pants while humping a monitor. Or this one by Christina Aguilera, where her giant, fake breasts almost fall out of her shirt while she sings a song about a man who makes her “panties” drop. Right?