Over the weekend, during a concert in Vancouver, Chicago hipster rapper Kid Cudi punched a fan in the front row after misinterpreting the poor kid’s gesture as a sign of disrespect. What happened exactly? Well, according to the person claiming to be said bruised fan, who spoke to TMZ, it’s a classic case of some kindly Canadian trying ever so awkwardly to be helpful and getting steamrolled by his American interlocutor.
Michael Sharpe, the fan, says that after someone standing behind him threw their wallet onstage, Cudi came over right at the best part of that song “Pursuit of Happiness” and tossed it back into the crowd towards the person he thought it belonged to. (Isn’t this what hype men are for?) Sharpe caught the wallet, and instead of just taking it like a normal person, he threw it back onto the stage so that Cudi could try to find its rightful owner.
At this point, Cudder lost his shit—a rap star can only be so obliging—carefully removed his ear piece, put down his mic, and punched poor little Sharpe in the face. This was basically the most civilized fight ever to break out at a rap concert, kind of like that montage in Fight Club where all the Space Monkeys have to start a fight with a stranger as their homework. The best part is that Sharpe isn’t even mad, and wants to have a meet-and-greet with Cudi. He told TMZ: “I’m not upset, I’m not going to be that person. I just want to meet him and be like ‘I’m the guy you punched.’ I’m not going to press charges.” Stop being so goddamn Canadian and stick up for yourself, Sharpey!