The New Senate Health Care Plan, in Bullet Points

12/09/2009 1:36 PM |

Health care reform makes Eagles cry

So, the Senate stayed up late, ordered some ‘za, and came up with some compromises on health care reform:

Here are some BULLET POINTS. (You ever just say the word BULLET over and over again? BULLET. BULLET. Crazy.)

BULLET: Lowering the age of Medicare coverage to a buy-in point at 55.
BULLET: Raising the percentage of premiums that insurance companies must spend on care to 90 (up five percent from the Congress plan). Woot.
BULLET: DUMPING THE PUBLIC OPTION and creating a space for the private sector to create non-profit, national health coverage [scratches head]; and providing an option if they don’t, to be administered by the same office that handles the federal employee health plans, the Office of Personnel Management. (This is kind of an end-around on the “Public Option” bogeyman that’s freaking all the dickheads out. The language on this idea is still murky, so the dickheads may still freakout. Oh who I’m I kidding, there’s an intransigent bunch of dickheads that just wants to spend money on war and not health care and they will never yield. [Is this even a BULLET point anymore?])
BULLET: Vinegar Joe Lieberman seems cautiously optimistic about it all, which is just so infuriating to think about, him mattering and all, but there you go. Anyway, the Congressional Budget Office has to crunch the numbers so, again, this is all still vague.
BULLET: Here’s the money quote from anti-choice “moderate” Ben Nelson, who doesn’t seem to be pouting too much after his proposed amendment to disincentivize insurance companies from covering abortion was voted down: “”I don’t want to be stubborn or closed-minded.” ORLY?
BULLET: Obama better just reconcile the shit out of all this and add on a bunch of signing statements and make America like Canada, i.e. a hockey-loving nation.
BULLET: The End.
BULLET: Bullet.

One Comment

  • In the words of William Randolph Hearst: Somebody ought to shoot that man. (Speaking of President McKinley who was assassinated shortly thereafter; but here we refer to Joe Lieberman)