Presentation Skills for Introverts
If the thought of speaking in public makes your pimples get pimples, sign up and learn how to ace your acceptance speech for the best Wookie costume at next year’s Comic-Con. Starts March 2, $110
Meditation for Inner Peace and Harmony in Your Daily Life
Not happy with the way you threw your mocha latte at the cab when it didn’t pick you up this morning? Take a course in the Buddha’s original anger management seminar.
Starts Feb 25, $125
You just know that you can make a difference in the world if you put your mind to it, but you don’t know where to begin. Plus, You are never going to find a job in finance again. Sorry, Obama said so. Starts April 24, $90
Star-quality Vintage Shopping
You know you’re sick of all those new clothes, so learn how to spend more money and get clothes that have already been worn instead. You’ll feel much better (cooler).
Starts March 20, $100
Knitting for Pleasure
You can never find the proper fitting pair of knit wool briefs to go with your purple caftan, and probably never will. Learn to make your own and never fret about it again.
Starts Feb 17, $150
Hand Sewing, Mending, and Alteration Essentials
Now, no matter what happens to your body, you’ll always be able to fit into that pair of skinny black jeans that defined your postgrad years in Williamsburg in such a big way.
Starts March 28, $200
Introduction to the Principles of Photography
See. Aim. Shoot. Learn even more by taking the course. Starts Feb 1, $395
Don’t worry about not getting your novel—you know, the one about a young man at a small culture magazine, navigating love, Brooklyn, and diabetes—published ever again; learn how to do it yourself.
Starts Feb 3, $210
You’re already pretty good at cutting out pictures of Lady GaGa and pasting them in your shrine to her, so why not refine this skill and call it art? Starts Jan 26, $470
Piano For Beginners
You can lead a man to a piano but you can’t make him play—until now! Go from random key smashing (downtown avant-garde?) to having a 12-piece repertoire in eight sessions over two months and pick up extra cash at bars and other places where fortune has a left a piano. Monday evenings, Feb. 22-April 26, $200
Online class: Mystery Writing
You’ve got ideas for a dozen whodunits (answer: the butler!), but how to formulate them into those thick collections of paper people call books? Easy: pay up. Log on. And learn. Starts Feb. 17, $145.
Online class: Grammar Refresher
What? You no need no grammar? No you stupid really. Jobs don’t give you no work when you write and talk like no sense. (Microsoft Word’s grammar check didn’t catch any of that.) Starts Feb. 17, $145
You can’t be a sommelier unless you know your shiraz from your sauvignon. (Trust us; we tried.) Over four Friday evenings in March, you’ll learn how to savor, select, serve and store wine. Starts March 5, 7-9pm. $100
Creating a Web Page with HTML
The likelihood that the web will disappear and things will go back to How They Were is becoming increasingly unlikely. Join the 21st century in six sessions. Saturdays, starting February 6. $350
Flash and Interactivity
Are you one of the legions of professional print journalists let go for some whippersnapper who knows WordPress? Show your old bosses you’re not going gently into that good night by learning the fundamentals of interactive storytelling, with audio, video and clickable buttons. Saturday mornings, starting February 20. $445
Introduction to Spanish
Just like the Internet, minorities aren’t going anywhere; the qualified employee of the near-future is going to need some Spanish language-fundamentals in their back pocket. Tuesday evenings or Saturday mornings, starting the first week of February. $215
and Employee Benefits
Quick, before you’re old and it’s too late! Learn how to plan for your future by balancing Social Security with investments, while learning the basics about benefits. Wednesday evenings, starting February 24. $395
and Flowers from Seeds
It’s more complicated than sticking them in dirt! And the end of civilization-and-its-supermarkets is coming faster than you think. Thursday, March 18, 6:30-9pm. $29
and Informal Logic
Philosophy isn’t about memorizing the theories of Great Thinkers past: it’s about learning the tools for critical and analytical thinking, which will serve you in any field, except teaching philosophy courses (which are governed by pre-approved syllabi). Thursday afternoons, starting Jan. 28. $595
Reading Toni Morrison
Do you know what the President, the editors of major media outlets and high-school English students have in common? They’ve all (presumably) read Toni Morrison. So shouldn’t you? Thursday evenings, starting Jan. 28. $595
Stop getting lost on your way to job interviews in the non-grid labyrinth New Yorkers call Greenwich. (Or, on your way to bars to, um, “celebrate” your unemployment.) And pick up some history, too, we guess. Thursday evenings, starting Jan. 28. $595
Staggered membership levels get you different benefits at one of Manhattan’s pre-eminent writer’s workshops: for $100, get mini-workshops, the use of an IBM computer (wow!) and more; for $1,000, get that PLUS an invitation to a special dinner. You’ll be living off re-print royalties in no time.