Dov Charney-Like Cult Leader Arrested in Israel

01/15/2010 8:53 AM |

goel ratzon arrested

Wow. Goel Ratzon—long and white of hair—was arrested on charges of rape and enslavement in Israel this week, and is said to have fathered over 40 children by numerous “not quite” wives. Ratzon seems pretty unapologetic about the hyper-patriarchal approach to his harem (which includes strict rules about doing the dishes), because, in his own words: “I’m perfect. I have all the qualities a woman wants.” Obviously.

Ratzon’s lady followers, who dress in an Orthodox style (except they have tattoos of his name!) see Ratzon as the one, true Messiah; said one: “He is the messiah everyone is talking about. He is already here and he hasn’t been revealed yet. The day he decides to reveal himself, the land will shake.” Obviously.

Pretty impressive for a guy who looks like a cross between Gandalf and Jeff Goldblum (or some kind of Wes Anderson hero). Dov Charney is jealous. Obviously.

One Comment