Poor little Jake Edward Thomas Schonberg (J.E.T.S.)… Last February, Tom Schonberg, not happy with the play of his beloved New York Jets American football club, thought he’d take direct action and sacrificed his son’s name on the altar of acronymic magical thinking. And, well, the Jets won their wildcard playoff game, so Schonberg (who also commissioned a Jets ice sculpture for his wedding) is taking the credit. When the Jets inevitably lose, little J.E.T.S. will be pilloried outside of the Mount Vernon city hall for nigh unto a fortnight. [Incidentally, pictured at right, one of the greatest sports mustaches of all time].
P.S. When I have a child I will name it Larry Evan Andrew Francis Stephanie.