Oh Shit! Hybrid Super-Snakes Breeding in Florida, Planning National Takeover

01/19/2010 9:46 AM |

Mega Snake

According to a terrifying little piece in the L.A. Times, southern Florida’s Everglades are crawling with growing numbers of the foul-tempered Burmese python, and now a budding population of the even meaner African rock python is appearing in the region, where there are no predators to keep giant snake numbers in check. In Africa they’re known for killing goats, crocodiles and children, and during a three-day state-coordinated snake hunt last week a 14-foot-long rock python was found in heavily populated Miami-Dade County.

But wait, the story gets more B-movie-y. According to South Florida Water Management District deputy executive director George Horne, snake experts (“snakesperts”?) fear that the two species could breed and create a new “super snake,” which would probably look something like this, this, or this, or maybe even this. We should waste no time breeding our own super snake killers, and get Samuel Jackson and Jennifer Lopez to start making babies right away. The survival of our species depends on it. (TreeHugger)