“What’s worse than waking up with a 25-year-old woman, you know what I mean?”

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01/15/2010 12:21 PM |

We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.
  • “We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

That’s Alec Baldwin, attempting to make a point about older men, sex and maturity, one which I’m sure ladies of all ages can appreciate. And yet, while I fully realize that this question was posed rhetorically, it’s one I am for various personal reasons uniquely equipped to respond to with suggestions of Things That Would, Actually, Be Worse Than Waking Up With a 25-Year-Old Woman, such as:

1. Waking with a 25-year-old woman you’ve never seen before who appears to have died overnight from stab wounds inflicted by a knife with your fingerprints on it, making it necessary for you to elude the police while tracking down the true killer who set you up.

2. Chilblains.

I could go on.

Recently we were having drinks with a somewhat older friend of ours, a professor, and her boyfriend, who accused her of having a crush on one of her undergraduate students. Indignant, she replied, “I don’t have a crush on him, he’s twenty!” Anyway.