When the machines finally decide to revolt and enslave humanity, I have a pretty good idea who their enforcers will be: Giant yellow MTA snowblowing trains.
Yesterday, as blizzards raged, I contemplated the J,M,Z and a trip across the Manhattan Bridge—but then I thought, “What about all the wet, sticky snow on the tracks. ISN’T THAT DANGEROUS!?” Paralyzed with fear (because I am a coward), I continued to wonder how the hell the MTA keeps it’s aboveground tracks relatively snow-free. Well, besides the obvious (forced labor by Canadian chaingangs), it turns out the MTA uses these massive yellow snowblowing trains.
This magnificent machine—which can blast snow 200 feet and moves 3,000 tons of the stuff every hour—features a giant snow brush and a massive whirling propeller thing that will devour the races of man. It’s all just so awesome and if it wasn’t only a semi-annual job, I’d want to drive one as my livelihood. Also, as you know, I am ten years old.
I salute you, coming robot snowblowing train overlord!