Conventioneer Drunkenly Poops in Brooklyn Heights Building, People Grossed Out

02/22/2010 4:24 PM |

office drunks
  • “Sometimes I like to drunk-poop.”

Yuck. Some convention-attending business dude (MAYBE IT WAS A PAPER SALESMAN! Those guys are crazy) got really drunk at a Court Street bar, after which he wandered into a Livingston Street apartment around midnight, perhaps mistaking it for his hotel. At that point he went to the laundry room and took a shit, followed by a crap in an actual apartment. Also, he was naked. Yup.

Obviously, this is just a really gross story, but not to get too personal with you (it’s just me and you, right?) I honestly can’t remember the last time I got drunk and felt the need to defecate. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever done that. (Again, between me and you) I don’t think I have any particular issues with matters of the bowel, but the idea of doing such a thing while drunk seems utterly foreign to me. (Matters of the Bowel… heh, my new rom-com screenplay.)

Also, sorry if you’ve read this far. Grossest post yet at thelmagazine.com.