Filed under the category of “people who treat animals as objects of profit and vanity” comes the story of Marion Hulick, whose French bulldog, “I’m On Fire,” was the first of his
genetically compromised inbred dog type breed to win the “Non-Sporting Group” at the Westminster Dog and Idiot Show last night. (“Non-Sporting” is just a euphemism for the poor, inbred creatures who’ve had every last whiff of animal instinct selected out of their genetic makeup so they can fit into Fendi bags; way to go HUMANS.)
So, insofar as the idea of a “pure breed” leads to genetically compromised pooches while simultaneously turning them into shop-window commodities, I’m pretty stridently anti-dog show (like this lady!). But here’s the thing about Marion Hulick: 20 years ago she arranged to have a thoroughbred horse murdered so she could claim some of the insurance money. Acting under orders from her then boss, George Lindemann Jr., Hulick paid a hit man $35,000 to electrocute a show horse named “Charisma.” She served six months for her crime.
The moral of this story? “I’m On Fire,” if you’re reading this, just run, run as fast as your unnaturally stumpy little legs can carry you.