Updated DSM Manual to Stigmatize Love of Food, Sex

02/10/2010 3:23 PM |

cat lady from the SImpsons

The Holy Bible of Everything That Is Wrong with Your Brain, the DSM, (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is coming out with some pretty big revisions next month, the first time significant changes have been made in ten years.

On top of pulling way back from the whole “little kids can be just as bipolar as adults” thing, which led to a generation of tiny, over-medicated Schopenhauers, the DSM V will add “hypersexuality” and “binge eating” to the list of things that giant pharmaceutical companies can trick us into thinking we have.

So we can look forward to racially diverse commercials with lines that ask, “Do you think about sex all the time? Do you really want to have sex all the time?” and “Did you eat so much at any point this week that you felt uncomfortable and ashamed?”

YES. GIVE ME PILLS PLZ NOW. THX.