“I Hit My Head and Now I Don’t Speak English”: Lost, “The Package” Recap

03/31/2010 12:37 PM |


Spoilers, duh.

“Some people just aren’t meant to be together,” Keamy X said during last night’s episode, which pretty much sums up Lost at this point: no one is together anymore, except maybe Rose and Bernard, if they ain’t skeletons in some cave somewhere. Least of all: Sun and Jin, around whom “The Package” revolved.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say last night’s episode was a good one, but it wasn’t as terrible as so many have been lately. It might be because I’ve given up all hope that any episodes centered on characters’ flashsidewayses will be any good, but at least last night’s episode moved Lost forward without too much of the usual stalling and bullshit.

So, in Reality X, Jin and Sun aren’t married! How’s that for a twist? It was kind of shocking for a flashsideways, where everybody seems better off than they did Before The Crash. But then, oh, they’re having an affair, so…whatever. Jin came out worst in this episode, because he was taken prisoner in mad realities—by Keamy in X, marked for death because he bonked the boss’ daughter, and by Widmore in the real reality, where he was briefly taken to…Room 23!

So, Room 23 was a Dharma station conducting experiments in subliminal messaging. Uh, thanks Lost, for taking the time to answer a question no one cared about while ignoring so many others. But “The Package” was less about new information than about creating parallels to previous episodes. (The flashsidewayses are always full of these dumb comparisons, and last night’s was no exception—hey, Mikhail has both of his eyes!) Locke told Clare that “whatever happens, happens,” a present tense inversion—like what Kate does—of Farady’s catch phrase. But Lost lately has its eye more on earlier times. Isn’t this season’s Season One Revisiting getting irritating? From “The Lighthouse”’s “gee, remember the caves?” to last night, when Jack surveyed Sun’s vegetable garden and wistfully intoned, “I remember when you first planted this.” Aw, me too, buddy. Me. Fucking. Too.

Other parallels: Zoe is the new Juliet, and Widmore’s team is the new Others, or Uzzizz, as Jin would’ve called them many seasons ago; their poison dart attack on Flocke’s team was soooo Hostiles! (Night vision surveillance is never a bad way to start an episode.) And last but far from least, Sun “can’t” speak English anymore! “I got bumped on the head and now 나는 영어를 말하지 않는다!!” Uh, is that a real thing? Uh, I don’t care, because it was an unbelievably stupid twist, a shameless excuse for notebook paper wasting and retarded tomato metaphors.

The most interesting part of last night’s episode was Widmore’s remark that if the Man in Black gets off the island, everyone would “cease to be”—not “die”. If Smokey gets off the island, is that when Reality X converges with Reality? Because it was in the flashsideways that Jin and Sun weren’t married, were gun battling for their love, and in which the pregnant Sun got shot. So much for a Ji Yeon X.

Well, we’ll just have to wait and see—what else is new? But at least things are moving into place: Richard has a plan, even if Sun is forestalling it. And Flocke is ready for war…just not right this second. In typical Lost fashion, last night’s episode ended with an exclamation point: not only with Apocalypse Sayid spying on the sub, but with the revelation that a drugged up Desmond is the secret Widmore’s been keeping locked up. Hooray, Desmond’s back! But awww, he’s been separated from Penny. I guess some people just aren’t meant to be together, at least not until the Island’s done with them. Which will hopefully be before I’m done with this fucking island.

2 Comment

  • umm… i think you mean jin “boinked” the boss’ daughter. “bonked” sounds like he clubbed her in the head.

  • the dictionary says “bonk” means “to have sexual intercourse with (someone).” But I’ll concede that boink is the funnier word, and for that I should have used it!