You know what is a really fucking obnoxious thing to do? Saying “you’re welcome” to someone who hasn’t said “thank you” is a really fucking obnoxious thing to do. It’s a bold move that I realize has its place: Hold a door for a person who breezes right past you without expressing gratitude? A stern “you’re welcome” is supremely effective, if also admittedly bad for your blood pressure.
But when you’re a publicist trying to get a writer to cover a band you’re working with, and you close your email with “You’re welcome,” I promise, it is not at all effective: it just makes you sound like a jerk, while making me far less likely to listen to the band, no matter how much they sound like what you wish Yeasayer had done with their new album.
Now I have a headache.
Update: Also do not send me the same email twice in an hour, with the only change being to the final paragraph, which at first told me about one local show tomorrow night and was then edited to tell me about a weekend-long tour. I would have less of a problem with this if both emails didn’t start with “Hi Mike,” a greeting that, I get it, is supposed to create the illusion of personalization and familiarity. But could you imagine acting like that with a person you actually know? Where two consecutive conversations are exactly the same 95% of the way through, and then you just say, like, nine different words at the end? Also, still, don’t say “you’re welcome” when you weren’t thanked for anything.