Impending Drug War on the Canadian Border?

04/22/2010 12:23 PM |

canadian drugs

No, I’m not talking about generic prescription drugs for old people (though that’s kind of been a war for a while), I’m talking actual narcotics. Apparently there’s been an increase in serious drug seizures along the world’s longest undefended border, and Senator Chuck Schumer is worried: “Even in the face of increased drug smuggling, the administration lacks a comprehensive strategy to fight this scourge.”

Yup, he said “scourge.” And I guess the numbers bear that out:

Northern border agents who seized a single kilogram of heroin and cocaine in 2007 seized 18 kilograms of cocaine and 28 kilograms of heroin in 2009, U.S. Justice Department statistics show. There were 3,423 kilograms of marijuana confiscated last year, compared with 2,792 kilograms two years earlier.

Of course, as usual, Canada fails to compete on the international stage and comes a distant, distant second to Mexico in terms of drug smuggling… But wait! What’s this!

While those numbers are dwarfed by seizures from the southern border, the reverse is true for Ecstasy seizures. Since 2005, agents have seized eight times the club drug at the northern border than at the southern border, taking 668 pounds from smugglers in 2009, 1,358 pounds in 2008 and 529 pounds in 2007.

Woohoo! WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE! Suck it, Mexico. You want some Ecstasy, you come north, bitchiez. [It was at this point your author packed up his things in a tiny trailer and took his family north to set up a lucrative drug lab in the Laurentian foothills.]