Today = “The Economy is Recovering” Day on the Internet!

04/16/2010 1:19 PM |

rich kid smokes cigar
  • The author, in richer times.

Hey guys, time to break out the power suits and start brandishing those cancer-causing retro-awesome giant cell phones! Today is the day that everyone started talking about how the economy is fine and how we’ll all not have to kill our dogs and eat them be rich forever! Obviously, the stock market has been on a pretty steady up-tick over the last six months, but what about actual businesses?

First, this story on the Sheinhardt Wig Company (aka General Electric) tells us that income declined over the first quarter far less than was expected and that actual profits might be right around the corner… Hooray for Jack Donaghy!

Another “bellwether of the economy” (the Times also referred to GE as such), Bank of America seems to be doing better, showing profits over the first quarter (versus two previous quarters of loss). So, yeah, a rich bank.

Ok, great. Two giant corporations are returning to profitability! How does this affect me beyond giving me something to blog about? Let’s look a the Brooklyn housing market…

This story tells us that the Brooklyn housing market is basically moving sideways! Which is… Well, I guess people are happy that it’s no longer tanking, so, yeah, cool, now I can afford that million-dollar brownstone.

Is any of this sort of good news having an impact on New Yorkers? Yes. The City Room tells us that the jobless rate in NYC has fallen to 10 percent even, down from a high of 10.5 percent, with the city’s private sector adding 25,000 jobs in March. Ok, I’ll take that as actual good news that affects me and the people around me.

[Pulls out a $50 bill and lights a vegan cigar with it as hundreds of hookers carrying vegetarian club sandwiches stream into the office.]

UPDATE: Ok, maybe not?