Former Miss Russia Arrested for Trying to Steal Drugs (Will Somebody Please Pay Me to Write this Screenplay?)

05/20/2010 8:33 AM |

anna malova

This little news item just made me kind of sad. The former Miss Russia (1998) was arrested Tuesday for trying to illegally purchase prescription painkillers at a Greenwich Village pharmacy using an Rx pad she’d lifted from her doctor (and it’s not the first time she’s done it, either.) Oh, and Anna Malova, now 38, is licensed to practice medicine in Russia, but not here.

Maybe I’m prone to lurid flights of romantic speculation (I am!), but the narrative through-line from the moment she had the tiara placed on her pretty blond head in some smoky red-lit theater in Moscow to the moment she drew that last shallow, panicky breath before she opened the pharmacy door really deserves to be fleshed out to the full… Anybody wanna be my patron and provide with the funds to undertake this project?