Rihanna’s “Rockstar 101″ Video is Infuriating and Stupid

05/25/2010 2:50 PM |

There are few things in the world that I find more irritating, more cringe-inducing, than people who don’t know anything about rock and roll doing the things they think people who know something about rock and roll might do. Celine Dion’s stint as an air guitarist is, for my money, the most egregious example, but it pops up all over the place, from contestants on American Idol to, well, the morons who made mainstream rock and roll an absolute laughing stock for nearly a decade. It’s always super serious, faux-intimidating faces, headbanging and windmills—it’s the same kind of ridiculous as when your dumb white uncle does his impersonation of a rappers. Anyway, here’s this new Rihanna video for a song called, oh god, “Rockstar 101.” When she gets done writhing around on the floor in almost no clothes, she takes part in some of the best rocksploitation I’ve ever seen, actually going so far as to dress like fucking Slash. And then what does she do? Oh, she smashes a guitar, of course, because that’s just what those rockers do, you know?