So, the dude who owned the deathcar bombmobile that “shut down” Union Square had simply “parked his car” and gone to a concert. The gas cans in his car—which was a goddamn fucking Cutlass Ciera, which is suspicious enough—were there because he mows a lot of lawns.
And that’s it, folks, we’ve won the War on Terror. Except for this summer, which will be full of this kind of shit. Also, good morning.