Vito Fossella Might Run for His Old Congressional Seat

05/11/2010 4:35 PM |

vito.jpg

I’m moving out of New York’s 13th Congressional District this summer, and not a moment too soon: disgraced former congressman Vito Fossella is considering running for the seat he abdicated in The Year of Obama, Politico reports, after a DUI arrest (!!!) revealed that the family-values Republican not only had a mistress but a secret lovechild living in Virginia.

Fossella, however, continues to be popular in Staten Island Republican circles, despite his stint in jail: the Staten Island Advance reported he recently received a standing ovation from a crowd of 300 local GOPers, though he was red in the face when “when a comic” at the same event “ripped into [John] Edwards for fathering a child outside of his marriage.” In fact, SI Republicans tried to get Vito on the ballot back in 2008, despite the scandal.

The 13th Congressional District is currently represented by the execrable Mike McMahon, who rode into power on the Obama wave, exploiting a fractured GOP following Fossella’s implosion. He’s now particularly vulnerable after he voted against healthcare, angering the progressives who put him into office.

I suggested in a recent piece that progressives in Bay Ridge and Staten Island support McMahon’s challenger, because McMahon himself were too awful to re-elect. Fossella, though, is a bad man and a worse congressman; it was a godsend that scandal brought him down. (He was arrested, in fact, on my birthday, and it was the greatest birthday present I ever received.)

Some quick reminders to anyone considering pulling the lever for Fossella:
1. Drunk driving kills
2. Cheating on your wife = being a dick
3. Humiliating your kids = being a dick

But Mike McMahon is a huge dick, too! Which means, because Americans r 2 dum to consider more than two choices, that the 13th congressional district is guaranteed to be represented by an asshole for years to come. Time to pack up and leave, everybody!