Every Single Famous Soccer Player to Miss World Cup

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06/04/2010 11:46 AM |

We cannot fucking stand Cristinao Ronaldo and really hope Diego Maradona runs him over. Only then will there be justice.
  • We cannot fucking stand Cristinao Ronaldo and really hope Diego Maradona runs him over. Only then will there be justice.

Here at The L, our World Cup fever is raging, though it’s been slightly dampened by what is surely an unprecedented rash of injuries sidelining the tournament’s top players. Ghana’s Michael Essien has been ruled out with knee ligament damage, and elsewhere in Group D, the German captain Michael Ballack—at 33 almost certainly looking at his last major tournament—will miss the Cup after an injurious tackle, by Ghana’s Kevin-Prince Boateng, in his last club game of the season. And then, today, England’s captain Rio Ferdinand—31, and finally coming into his own after a spotty international career—was ruled out with a knee injury, and the Ivory Coast captain Didier Drogba fractured his elbow in a tune-up match, surely this most tragic absence in this rather heart-rending gallery.

The best African player in the first African World Cup, the well-nigh unstoppable striker Drogba was perhaps the marquee player at South Africa 2010, what with the Time 100 mention, and the Annie Liebowitz-snapped Vanity Fair cover.

We remain hopeful that Drogba can play in a cast of some sort—surely it’d help him fend off opponents?

Anyway, that’s our first World Cup post of the summer. We’re actually giddy with excitement.

5 Comment

  • Hup, Holland!

  • Well….Ballack just walked around Stamford bridge pointing accusatory fingers at Anelka and Kalou for most of the season so he’s no loss. Essien was always going to be missing seeing as though his last two years at Chelsea have seen him play fewer and fewer games through injury, and Rio Ferdinand? No loss really, Craig Bellamy made him look slower than an episode of ‘Mad Men’ in the first Manchester Derby and he’s been carrying a back injury that was bound to kick in by game 3 anyway.

    Take my word for it. Drogba will play. The paper-mache centre forward has the pain threshold of a 4 year old school girl and the least little niggle has the deceptively buff Ivorian screaming for his mammy whilst writhing in agony on the turf. Latest news is that it’s a slight fracture of a bone near the elbow, any half decent footballer will carry on. Ryan Giggs played for half the season with his arm in a cast after breaking it.

    Trust me, the ego is too big for Drogba to miss his last world cup, he’ll play, and the real stars by the way are still all playing.

    Ones to watch and savour. Robin Van Persie (Holland), Guissepe Rossi (Italy via New Jersey), Javier Hernandez (Mexico), Maicon (Brazil), Vidic & Zigic (Serbia), The entire Spanish midfield, Rooney & Ronaldo (Lets hope they draw each other at some stage), oh and some young lad called Messi is supposed to be quite good too…

  • yeah, too bad Rossi was left off the team though…

    Drogba and his elbow, I don’t know, I don’t see it happening. I consulted with my dad on this who had the same injury, and concensus is no fucking way is he gonna be back by next friday. Different from Giggs, you have a whole load of nerves right at that spot, also likey his elbow will be immobilized at 90 degree angle. Just think of shoulder to shoulder challenges, jostling, jumping for headers etc, there’s just no way he could be effective with that injury.

  • Latest casualties are John Obi Mikel and quite possibly Arjen Robben, the latter of which smarts especially for the neutral’s favorites… Let’s hope Drogba’s surgery works out.

    Some wit in the Guardian comments section said something to the effect of “only seven more injuries and Capello can pick a squad based on form and fitness,” was that you, Keogh?

  • Innocent of that one Mr. Asch, but do subscribe somewhat to that mindset. Looks like Robben is out seeing though he hasn’t travelled to SA which is a huge blow for the Netherlands. On Capello’s best XI…my 2c Green(GK), Back four (L-R) Cole, King, Upson, Warnock, MIdfield (l-R) Joe Cole, Lampard,Parker (not on the plane!), Johnson (playing PS3 in Manchester), Forwards Rooney, Carlton Cole (eliminated from selection by the fact there were already 2 coles on the squad and Umbro didnt have any more C, O, L, or E letters for his shirt…)