Seriously, I got a press release for baby hair gel the other day. You know, HAIR GEL FOR HUMAN BABIES:
This summer, whether headed to the beach or the pool, [REDACTED] hair gel is ideal to throw in any bag for some quick hair touch-ups. From taming those wild fly-aways to smoothing frizzies, [REDACTED] hair gel works on all hair types and is free of fragrances, sulfates and all harsh chemicals. Whatever the hair type, [REDACTED] will make combing and styling a cinch.
Also, importantly, “Thickens baby-fine hair.”
Fuck you, world we live in.