The Fate of English-Speaking Soccer Hangs in the Balance This Morning

06/23/2010 9:49 AM |

gazza and vinnie jones
  • The key to English victory.

Oh boy. Only ten minutes until the final first-round games of group C in the World Cup. This would be the group with America and England, your so-far disappointing representatives of anglophone soccer the world over (New Zealand and Australia don’t count… Have you heard those guys talk?).

So, the USA play Algeria, and England play Slovenia. Now, if you’d told fans of any of these countries before the tournament that they could get through to the next round with a simple win, I’m sure they’d take it (particularly the brash yanks and arrogant limeys)—but things could get interesting… Here’s how it shakes out:

• USA and England win, they’re through.

• Algeria and Slovenia win, they’re through.

• Slovenia wins, USA wins, they’re through.

• Both games tie 1-1, Slovenia and the USA go through.

• Algeria wins, England wins, Slovenia and England go through.

Ok, I’m sure there are many other unforeseen outcomes that I really can’t be fucked to think of, but the key here is that Slovenia is playing for a ni-nil draw, so get ready to enjoy the dazzling English attack buffeting up against the Slovenian back seven.

One Comment

  • The agony makes the ecstasy feel so much better!

    What was the score? 1-0? what low scoring rubbish games! (sarcasm). This IS FOOTBALL!