On Saturday a slick of diesel fuel appeared on the water along the Red Hook waterfront near Valentino pier, sparking fears of a more substantial spill and sadness over dead sea life. The Coast Guard came in after bloggers broke the news and, according to the Daily News, determined that the oily, smelly substance amounted to about 15 gallons of diesel fuel from… somewhere. Here are five (barely) possible culprits who may be behind this tiny act of environmental vandalism.
5. Sixpoint: The tiny craft brewery at Dwight and Van Dyke Streets nearby, long touted as a pioneering green enterprise, actually runs on nothing but diesel fuel. When they reach the sludge at the bottom of their fuel tanks, they dump it out in the harbor, like so.
4. Red Hook Ball Field Food Carts: Fed up with permit problems and infestation accusations, the mobile vendors of delicious foods at the Red Hook Ball Fields spilled a small amount of diesel in protest. Next time a taco spill might be more effective.
3. Brooklyn Waterfront Artists Coalition: The BWAC opened their summer show, Red Hooked, on Saturday (coincidence!?). After abandoning plans to forgo oil and instead paint a canvas with diesel fuel, a frustrated participant dumped her or his materials into the water to create a temporary site-specific installation.
2. Ikea: Pissed that the borough went ahead with a bike lane plan despite the Swedish furniture and meatball giant’s opposition, they paid one of their truckers to dump one Aspvik (self-assembled diesel fuel container available in birch or mahogany tint) into the water.
1. BP: The Red Hook diesel fuel spill is actually the “seep” that everyone is looking for.